The death of your spouse is an incredibly hard time, as you’re going to deal with feelings of deep sadness, loneliness, grief, isolation, and even depression. While you’re going through the toughest period of your life, there are also final arrangements to consider. Dealing with this massive loss is made even more stressful when there is strife between the family. Here are some tips to help you avoid family conflict during this difficult time. Consult the will as soon as possible The easiest way to resolve any sort of familial conflict after your spouse passes is to consult their will/testament. Not only will this clear up questions about their estate (which will come into play later), but many will documents include instructions about funeral arrangements, burial desires, etc. Without clear instructions from the deceased, families can easily resort to arguments over the wishes of your spouse. Here’s a good guide on the steps you should take when dealing with a final will. Never ever judge anyone’s grief (including your own!) Everyone grieves in their own way. As the person who lost your husband or wife, you may feel like you need to “hold it together” for the sake of your family. Denying yourself natural grieving is detrimental to your health. Never be self-conscious of your sadness. Embrace it as a natural part of the process. On the flip side, always do what you can to never judge anyone else’s grief. You children may experience the loss in a different manner than you - it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t feel it as much. It’s vital that everyone gives each other the benefit of the doubt during this trying time. Focus on your own mental and physical wellness Grief is a tricky beast, and it can do a real number on our overall health. Sometimes it’s easy to put your health on the backburner while you deal with everything involved in the aftermath of your spouse’s death. But one of the best things you can do for you and your family is to make sure you focus on your mental and physical wellness during this trying time. It helps to think about it in this way. In order to stay healthy while grieving, focus on avoiding these three things: isolation, unhealthy behaviors, and inactivity. Force yourself to talk to someone - whether it be your child, your sibling, a friend, a church counselor, or even a professional. Do everything you can to avoid taking the “easy” way out and using unhealthy things like alcohol or overeating to help you cope with the loss. Finally, try to do something enjoyable every day. Do not feel guilty for wanting to experience happiness following the loss of your spouse. It’s what they would want for you. Here are some more suggestions on how to deal with grief in a healthy way. Above all else, remember to communicate There should be no secrets, reserved feelings, or hesitation to discuss delicate matters among you, your children, your spouse’s family, and other close relatives involved in the aftermath of your loss. The best way to ensure that there is some sort of conflict is failure to communicate. “Communication (or lack thereof) can be a key issue that leads to conflict. If a plan isn’t made for who, when, and how certain things will be handled, it is not uncommon for one person to go rogue. Communicating isn’t always easy, but it is crucial to reducing conflict. If at all possible, make a plan right away for how and when things will be handled,” says WhatsYourGrief.com. The death of a spouse is devastating to say the least, and as inappropriate as it may seem, family conflict often follows a loved one’s passing. While it’s a difficult time for everyone involved, keep the things discussed in this article in mind to help prevent things from being worse than they have to be. Photo Credit: Pixabay.com By: Jackie Waters
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